Mr Nude Brisbane 1904: a transparent petticoat


mr nude brisbane transparent petticoat

In 1904, an unfortunate crime and a lack of any clothing other than a transparent petticoat resulted in Thomas Bier becoming Mr Nude Brisbane 1904.

In the modern day, we can, of course, access nudity at any time of day or night via the World Wide Web.

Take your pick. There are dicks to be admired in all colours, shapes, and sizes.

Men post their own nude pics. Some want to boast of their horse-sized appendages. Others beg for critics to belittle their markedly more modest endowments.

How easily we forget the taboo nudity once was in our society. Even in the 1960s, wowsers complained that a life-size replica of the Statue of David on display in a Sydney department store should be clad in a figleaf.

Holy Michelangelo! Talk about more modest endowment. You’d need binoculars to get a decent squizz at the dicklet on the Renaissance master’s great marble masterpiece. I always wondered if he left the dick till last and ran out of marble.

So, back in the day, those wanting to get their jollies from images of the male form were restricted to classic art. All well and good, but it’s hard to focus on wanking among the crowds in the Sistine Chapel.

Mr Nude Brisbane 1904

But in 1904, as members of the public filed into Brisbane’s City Police Court, someone noticed that they had a clear view of Thomas Bier’s nether regions.

The Brisbane Truth were so excited they had their artist draw the nude crim’s likeness for their next edition. Thomas was a pin-up — Mr Nude Brisbane 1904!

He’d been arrested the day before for stealing a pair of trousers from a second-hand clothes dealer in Albert Street. He was wearing the pants at the time. But just before his case was heard, the arresting copper realised the pants were needed for evidence. Looking around for something to cover Thomas’s nakedness, the constable noticed a petticoat and decided that would do.

But Constable Gay (you can’t make this shit up) never noticed the petticoat he put on Thomas was transparent. As titters arose from the public gallery and the constable realised his mistake, he hustled Thomas back downstairs to the cells.

A chasmic rent in the stern shift

When they returned Thomas was attired in what the Brisbane Truth described as a pair of policeman’s unmentionables with ‘a chasmic rent in the stern shift’. (A rip in the arse.)

Which begs the question — how did the Truth reporter know what undies Queensland cops wore?

And… where did the torn underdaks come from?

Were they Constable Gay’s?

It always happens, doesn’t it?

You wear your grungiest old knickers to work, and then you have to take them off to put on a crim you accidentally clad in a transparent petticoat. Life’s a bitch!

Anyway, according to the Brisbane Truth, Thomas paid for his thieving with a stint in gaol.

“Addressing the bench, defendant asked for leniency as he had been drinking. Prosecuting, Sub-Inspector Short here put his pot on by saying that Bier was a perfect pest. He was continually drunk and waylaying people in the street. Now he will waylay no more for three months — three pantless months in Boggo-road.”

Obviously, Constable Gay wanted his crotchless long johns back.

Some real vintage Aussie nudity:

NSFW!!! Vintage photographs of Aussie male swimmers.

vintage aussie male swimmers vintage photograph nsfw

NSFW! Can you explain this vintage Aussie beach pic?

vintage aussie beach pic manginas

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Destiny Rogers

Destiny Rogers embarked on her career in the media industry immediately after high school, initially joining Mirror News, which later evolved into News Ltd. She fondly recalls editing Ian Byford's 'Passing Glances: A History of Gay Cairns' as one of her most fulfilling projects. Additionally, Destiny co-researched and co-wrote 'The Queen's Ball', chronicling the history of the world's longest-running continuous queer event. Her investigative work on the history of Australia's COON Cheese and Edward Coon culminated in the publication 'COON: More Holes than Swiss Cheese', a collaborative effort with Dr. Stephen Hagan. Destiny's journey at QNews began as a feature writer, and she was subsequently elevated to the role of Managing Editor of QNews Magazine in 2018. However, in July 2022, she decided to resign from this role to refocus on research and feature writing. For contact, please reach out at destinyr@qnews.com.au.

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