Trump supporter pioneers DIY vasectomy with handgun

diy vasectomy
Don't move Pussy or the dick gets it! Image: @dyllyp Twitter

 An American gun enthusiast and Trump supporter last week pioneered a new DIY vasectomy. The man belongs to a group which shares images of themselves pointing guns at their genitals. But, in a monumental balls-up, he accidentally fired his gun and shot himself in the scrotum.

The San Diego man belongs to a private Facebook group called Loaded Guns Pointed at [B]enis. Apparently another group already took the name Dickheads Inc.

The group point loaded guns at their penises, penii, penes, dinky winkies, weenies or peenies. (Sorry. We were too lazy to Google the plural of penis.) They do this because they believe it triggers responsible gun owners.

This particular member posted a video showing off his Colt pistol. He then pressed it against his crotch and BANG!

Right in the balls!

Didn’t see that coming.

He posted a pic of his bare legs with drops of blood on the floor and also, for reasons unexplained, a copy of the US Constitution. This event may yet trigger a new amendment.

Unconfirmed reports say US President Donald Trump stated, “When we took over from Obama, no Americans were shooting themselves in the balls but now we lead the world.”

An announcement is expected soon on whether the man will be invited to speak at the Republican National Convention.

I might have f***ed up!

Following the incident, the man posted, “Hey [b]ois. I might have f***ed up!”

“I’m not kidding. I just shot myself.”

While he at first thought he only grazed his little treasure sack, a hospital visit confirmed the bullet went straight through — in one side, out the other.

An admin of the Facebook group told VICE the world should not mock the poor fellow for his injury.

“[He] is 100% okay, actually went to work the next day…

“The poor guy already shot himself, don’t think he needs to be chastised as well… I’m quite sure he’s learned his lesson without the entire world calling him an idiot.”

Really? We think anyone who holds a loaded firearm to their balls with the safety off, shoots himself, and then decides it’s a touchy subject is a bit too cocky.

A reminder to all MAGA dolts — DIY vasectomy is unsafe. If Trump supporters wish to damage their testicles, plenty of people will volunteer to help.

Anyway, it’s a timely reminder for people with gonads unharmed by recent firearm trauma to self-examine for testicular cancer.

Check out DocQ, Dr Fiona Bisshop’s Guide to Ball Tampering.

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