The Great Anal Sex Playlist


anal sex

Following his recent self-imposed exile, far-right politician Mark Latham has emerged from the back passages of the NSW Parliament to complain again about gay men and anal sex. We think if it’s good enough to talk about, it’s good enough to sing about, so here’s our Great Anal Sex Playlist.

To misquote Salt-N-Pepa: Let’s talk about sex, baby, Let’s talk about anal sex…

Some people put their arse to good use sexually. 🍑  Others just talk out of it. 💩

Last week, Latham spoke about being a straight man.

“I speak for a lot of straight men, [why don’t you get more votes then?] Chris, in saying that the idea of having anal sex with another man would make you vomit. That’s what makes us straight.”

WTF. Most straight men define their sexuality by what they like, not by what they don’t like – like, they like having sex with women.

But Latham seems to ignore how many straights enjoy anal sex.  According to the US Centers for Disease Control, 44% of straight men and 36% of straight women fess up to anal sex.

So, yes. Lots of gay men enjoy anal sex, and by all accounts, are very good at it. But with straights making up over 90% of the population, many more straight people are having bumsex than gays.

To misquote again, this time LaTour: People are still having anal sex, and most of them are hetero. 

Without any further ado, here’s our Great Anal Sex Playlist.

Tutti Frutti: Little Richard — a joyous ode to sphinctacular sex

Tutti Frutti is lauded for introducing several of rock music’s unique characteristics. But only after Little Richard‘s manager convinced him to rewrite the original lyrics.

Tutti Frutti, good booty,
If it don’t fit,
Don’t force it,
You can grease it,
Make it easy.

  • Rolling Stone declared Tutti Frutti ‘the most inspired rock lyric ever recorded’.
  • #1 on Mojo’s Top 100 Records That Changed The World.
  • added to the U.S. Library of Congress National Recording Registry because the “unique vocalizing over the irresistible beat announced a new era in music.

Yes, folks, the song that inspired one of the most influential musical genres of all time is a joyous ode to sphinctacular sex.

Relax: Frankie Goes to Hollywood

The pre-release ad for Relax hopefully allayed any doubt as to the subject matter of the song.

“All the nice boys love sea men,” it announced.

“Soap it up… rub it up… Frankie goes to Hollywood are coming…”

Mmmm. So anyway, Relax… don’t do it… when you want to come…

Pull Up to the Bumper: Grace Jones

Grace Jones suggested the lyrics of Pull Up to the Bumper were not necessarily a metaphor for anal sex. But the radio stations that refused to play it certainly thought so.

Pull up to my bumper baby
In your long black limousine.
Pull up to my bumper baby
And drive it in between.

Cocksucker Blues: The Rolling Stones

A song recorded by The Rolling Stones to meet their contractual obligation. Although rejected by Decca Records, the song achieved popularity as a bootleg.

Warning: As well as anal sex, Mick Jagger wails about doing the nasty with pigs and a policeman’s large knob.

Oh, where can I get my cock sucked?
Where can I get my ass fcked?
I may have no money,
But I know where to put it every time.

Bloom: Troye Sivan

We’ll take squeals of delight over howls of outrage every time. And bottoms everywhere squealed with delight when Troye Sivan recorded an anthem to the joys of passive anal sex.

It’s true, babe. I’ve been saving this for you.
Promise me you’ll hold my hand if I get scared now.
Might tell you to take a second baby slow it down.
You should know I bloom, I bloom just for you.

Sock It 2 Me: Missy Elliot & Da Brat

OK! We only had to hear the reference to Crisco, the original low-cost anal lubricant to recognise this as a hymn to buttfcking.

Ooh ahh, sock it to me like you want to.
Ooh, I can take it like a pro, you know.
Move along pro with the backstroke.
My hormones jumpin’ like a disco.
I be poppin’ mess like some Crisco.

So, there are plenty more tracks alleged to be about anal sex with not much evidence but lots of wishful thinking: Meatloaf’s I’d Do Anything For Love (But I Won’t Do That), Kylie’s Slow. And although John Mellencamp’s Hurts So Good probably belongs among their number, I’ll include it here. Because, fck! It does hurt so good.

Also: 35 Queer anthems from the last 60+ years.

For the latest lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, intersex and queer (LGBTIQ) news in Australia, visit qnews.com.au. Check out our latest magazines or find us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and YouTube.

Destiny Rogers

Destiny Rogers embarked on her career in the media industry immediately after high school, initially joining Mirror News, which later evolved into News Ltd. She fondly recalls editing Ian Byford's 'Passing Glances: A History of Gay Cairns' as one of her most fulfilling projects. Additionally, Destiny co-researched and co-wrote 'The Queen's Ball', chronicling the history of the world's longest-running continuous queer event. Her investigative work on the history of Australia's COON Cheese and Edward Coon culminated in the publication 'COON: More Holes than Swiss Cheese', a collaborative effort with Dr. Stephen Hagan. Destiny's journey at QNews began as a feature writer, and she was subsequently elevated to the role of Managing Editor of QNews Magazine in 2018. However, in July 2022, she decided to resign from this role to refocus on research and feature writing. For contact, please reach out at destinyr@qnews.com.au.

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