So, you want to try butt stuff! But doesn’t it hurt? What if you have a poo explosion! Bottoming can (and should) feel great. So, here’s the Doc Q Guide to Better Bottoming
What should I eat before bottoming?
Your butt connects all the way up to your mouth, so start at the top. Fibre helps regulate water content and stops poop being too hard or too soft. If you struggle to increase fibre, try a supplement called Psyllium husk. After taking it for a while, you may even get to the glorious one-wipe poo.
Best lube for bottoming?
Water-based and silicone-based lubes work best. Try both. See which you prefer. Water-based is less likely to stain your sheets and best for toys made from silicone. Silicone-based can last longer. I recommend against numbing agents or ingredients that might tingle the nerve endings.
If you are taking Psyllium husk, douching might not be necessary, but some guys feel more comfortable knowing they’re ‘clean downstairs’. Firstly – only use plain, clean water at body temperature. Soaps, antiseptics or disinfectants can irritate the lining of the rectum and make it easier for STIs to take hold. Similarly, don’t douche too early. If you douche right before sex, tears & abrasions are more likely. Do it at least 30 mins before sex and no more than 2-3 times a week.
How to relax down there?
Relaxation is crucial for enjoyable bottoming. If you’re not relaxed, the anal muscles tense and it can feel like knives down there. The muscles need to stretch open to allow entry. You can control the outer muscle (try ‘winking’ that muscle right now!) but the internal sphincter is not under voluntary control, so may need some extra help. Try a light touch or feathering around your anus to help relax. Use different types of touch and pressure and explore what feels good and notice how it feels when you relax.
How to practice?
I’m a big fan of practising by yourself before getting a partner involved. Unless you’re insanely endowed and outrageously flexible, this usually involves some toys or a finger. Slop that lube on and start to practice with our relaxation techniques. Press the object (or your fingers) against the opening and see if you can feel the external and internal muscles relax. Go slow at first, until you feel the inner sphincter relax. After this, you should find it easier to penetrate and get some pleasure out of it! As you practice, take note of how much you can accommodate – how deep, how fast, how big.
What’s the best position?
Have you ever travelled to a country that uses ‘squat toilets’? These toilets are made with our anal anatomy in mind. Bend your hips close to your belly to straighten the rectum. My top starter position for bottoming is the cowboy pose: top lies on their back and the bottom kneels on top, facing forward. This is great for rectal anatomy and also puts the bottom in control. I also love the missionary position (but the legs bent up) or doggy-style.
If you’re still not enjoying your butt sex, it might be wise to check in with your sex-positive healthcare provider. Sometimes it’s worth seeing a pelvic floor physio who can help you with relaxing techniques. If you’re getting some bleeding, it’s best to check with your GP to see if you might have haemorrhoids or an anal fissure.
Happy bottoming everyone!
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