Tops: it’s your turn! If you think that topping is just all about shoving it in and getting jiggy with it, then you might not be doing yourself or your bottoms justice. Whether you’ve got your own penis or are just strapping one on for fun, here are my tips to be toppest top in town.
Get your bottom ready
First things first, send them my Guide to Better Bottoming from our March 2022 mag! The anus has a powerhouse of little nerve endings for you to stimulate, so it’s time to get to work! Whether you’re using toys, fingers, or your tongue, spend a bit of time down there. Don’t just shove anything in, use light tough and tease that hole! It’ll help your bottom relax both their external and internal sphincter. Lube up a finger and gentry try and find that prostate. You can tap on it like a bell at a hotel reception – this will definitely get some attention!
Spit is not lube
I don’t think I’ve written an article about sex that doesn’t talk about lube. While spitting on your dick might make you feel like a big macho man from your favourite 80s porno, you’re going to leave your sexual partners cringing. Water-based or silicone-based lubes are the way to go. Firstly, while you’re getting your bottom ready you might want to use some lube around the anus. Once you’re ready to go in, be generous with the lube. Get that cock nice and slippery and don’t forget to reapply.
Shake up your positions
Often the best position for bottoms to start with is cowgirl. It means they can mount you at their own pace. Keep an eye on their facial expressions and communicate. If it looks too painful offer some more foreplay. Once everything is moving, shake up your positions a bit. You want to try positions that are comfortable for both of you. There are a few that are ideal for hitting that prostate including missionary (with the top sitting up), doggy-style and cowgirl. More importantly, ask your bottom what hits it best!
Make peace with poo
Shit happens. As a top, you can cause a lot of harm by making a big deal about it. I recommend keeping a pack of disposable wipes in the same draw as your condom, PrEP and lube. If you get a little when you pull out, you can wipe it off and get back in there. And if you have some scented candles in the room you won’t have to worry about any invading smells!
Getting to climax
The age-old question of who should cum first is one that’s best had with your sexual partner. When you orgasm and ejaculate, the anal muscles tighten. Some bottoms enjoy cumming while being f_cked, so be a good partner and let them go first. Others might actually find it a bit painful. If you plan to whip it out and cum on your bottom, you need to be pre-prepared with a towel. That tip is straight from my med school textbooks. Finally, once you’re finished and your erection is fading, be sure to urinate to avoid a UTI. While it won’t help with STIs, it’s good practice to get in!
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