NSFW! Onscreen prosthetic peen: Who wore it best? Or not!


prosthetic peen who wore it best

The prosthetic peen now makes regular appearances on both television and cinema screens. So who wore it best? Or not? Some rumoured prosthetics turned out to be the product of Mother Nature who probably now wonders at what a difference a dick makes.

Prosthetic peen made its cinematic debut in late eighties porn. Suddenly porn flicks featured men with suspiciously large dicks, apparently so weighty they required support from heavy-duty strapon-like harnesses. Obviously, because they were strapons. Then the porn directors discovered Hollywood Special FX. Suddenly there was a rush of flicks featuring men with two dicks, beautiful conjoined twins conveniently joined at the hip, and ‘hermaphrodites’ with huge hard schlongs. Although always erect and no longer requiring harnesses, the owners did seem to always hold their weapon at the base during heavy action as though they feared it might snap off. Which I suppose, it easily could. The penises always seemed curiously detached during cumshots. It leaked out later that the penises were in fact detached for cumshots and attached to water pistols. 💦

NSFW! Click here: Fake peen in vintage porn.

But fast-forward to the twenty-first century and we’ve witnessed such marvellous advances in prosthetic peen technology that viewers often wonder aloud, “Is that twenty-inch dick real, or a prosthetic?”

Dirk Diggler’s massive member in Boogie Nights probably holds a valid claim to the title of most famous fake phallus in movie history. Mark Wahlberg, the former Marky Mark, wore a prosthetic modelled after famed porn star John Holmes. However, the original twelve incher apparently looked unrealistic so the prosthetic penis modeller trimmed it back to a more modest seven.

NSFW! Click here: Dirk Diggler’s dangler and the late John Holmes whose life and dick inspired the movie and prosthetic.

While Mark Wahlberg played a porn star, Simon Rex transitioned from porn star to mainstream actor playing a washed-up porn star. His triumphant turn in Red Rocket saw him take a nudie run through town with a gigantic prosthetic tool. It was a work of art, the pinnacle of prosthetic penis craftmanship. Usually, fake dongs make brief and almost stationary appearances. But Simon made a nudie run through town with his massive member swinging about wildly. Its unrestrained flailing threatened to demolish civic landmarks. Not only aesthetic but practical. It looked real and it never came off. If ever a dick deserved an Academy Award, it was Simon’s.

NSFW! Click here: Simon Rex’s nudie run with prosthetic peen in Red Rocket and Simon full-frontal nude minus prosthetic in the nineties.

Recently, Theo James excited a lot of viewers when he dropped trou and allowed a between-the-legs glimpse of some monster meat in The White Lotus. However, Theo later outed the penis as a prosthetic suggesting his makeup artist sourced the member from a farm. “It’s like she stole it off a donkey in the field. The thing is ginormous.”

NSFW! Click here: Theo James in The White Lotus.

But some actors face accusations of wearing prosthetic peen when they have not. It happened to model Ansel Pierce after his small short brief role on Euphoria. “It can’t be real”, squealed viewers who apparently only ever saw a budgerigar dick before. He took to social media to reclaim his penis and point out that the momentary appearance was his first BIG role.

NSFW! Click here: Ansel Pierce full-frontal naked.

People can be excused for mistaking Ansel’s equipment for a prosthetic. They’d never heard of him before. But some people also accused Tommy Lee of wearing a fake peen when he posted a nude pic in August 2022. For Dick’s sake! That penis is hardly a stranger to the general public. It was like deja vu all over again for those of us old enough to remember Tommy and Pamela Anderson’s sextape in the nineties.

NSFW! Click here: Full-frontal Tommy Lee.

In Watchmen, Yahya Abdul-Mateen II played a blue, glowing superhuman who conceals his unusual appearance behind a human shell. The role required him to appear both as a normal nude human and as a nude, blue superhuman. He said he preferred nude over blue — much less prep. Despite suggestions he wore a prosthetic, what you see is what you get. That’s all him.

NSFW! Click here: Yahya Abdul-Mateen II full-frontal nude in Watchmen.

Read also: NSFW! Thomas Eakins’ homoerotic The Swimming Hole.

NSFW! Eugen Sandow: Was the OG nude male pinup bisexual?

NSFW! Al Urban’s vintage nude bodybuilders.

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Destiny Rogers

Destiny Rogers embarked on her career in the media industry immediately after high school, initially joining Mirror News, which later evolved into News Ltd. She fondly recalls editing Ian Byford's 'Passing Glances: A History of Gay Cairns' as one of her most fulfilling projects. Additionally, Destiny co-researched and co-wrote 'The Queen's Ball', chronicling the history of the world's longest-running continuous queer event. Her investigative work on the history of Australia's COON Cheese and Edward Coon culminated in the publication 'COON: More Holes than Swiss Cheese', a collaborative effort with Dr. Stephen Hagan. Destiny's journey at QNews began as a feature writer, and she was subsequently elevated to the role of Managing Editor of QNews Magazine in 2018. However, in July 2022, she decided to resign from this role to refocus on research and feature writing. For contact, please reach out at destinyr@qnews.com.au.

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