The 1970s deserve credit as the campest decade ever. Fashion, music, television: all camp, and so were the movies — even much of the porn. Flesh Gordon fell just short of porn — truckloads of nudity and brief sex scenes — but the sexploitation comedy spoof made up for that with tons of camp.
Threatened with prosecution, producers cut most of the explicit straight and gay orgy scenes shot for the film and surrendered that footage to Los Angeles police.
But the film still garnered an X rating.
I was still at school when Flesh Gordon hit the cinemas but saw it later on video — the 78-minute runtime greatly increased by continually hitting the Pause button. 😮
But don’t worry. You can now watch the movie online — free and legally. No trips to the video shop or fines for forgetting to rewind the bloody thing. (Link at end of article.)
The movie spoofed the Flash Gordon series of movies from the 1930s. So closely, in fact, Universal Studios threatened to sue prompting producers to add a disclaimer: “Not to be confused with the original Flash Gordon.”
The story begins with Earth under attack from mysterious rays which drive people into a sexual frenzy. Main characters Flesh Gordon and Dale Ardor experience exactly that while onboard a plane. After the sex-crazed pilots abandon the controls, an orgy ensues. Flesh and Dale then escape the imminent crash by parachute.
The pair land near the workshop of Dr Flexi Jerkoff who in a stroke of good fortune already built a spacecraft. The trio head for the planet Porno, ready to confront its evil overlord, Emperor Wang the Perverted.
NSFW: Click here – Under attack from the Sex Ray, Flesh, Dale and Dr Jerkoff strip for a quick threesome.
Penisaurusi, rapist robots, and the Great God Porno
On the alien planet, they battle penisaurusi, rapist robots, and the King Kong-like Great God Porno. At one stage, Prince Precious, rightful ruler of Porno, rescues Flesh and his friends. In a particularly touching scene, Prince Precious delivers a heartfelt speech about future interplanetary cooperation.
“Our new cosmic friendship might inspire an everlasting bond of kindness and love between the people of this planet and yours.”
“If there’s anything I can ever do to repay you…” offers Flesh.
Cut to a shot of Precious collecting his tonsil-tickling reward.
NSFW: Click here – Flesh triumphs over a strap-on wearing Amazon.
NSFW: Click here – Wang’s wedding celebrant and a gratuitous nude man.
Jason Williams who played Flesh later co-wrote the book I was Flesh Gordon: Fighting the Sex Ray and Other Accidental Adventures of an Accidental Porn Pioneer. He noted that members of the Flesh Gordon special effects team, including legendary makeup artist Rick Baker, later won thirteen Academy Awards between them.
It’s a very different movie from modern-day ‘camp’ films.
Check it out for free and the Internet Archive.
Also: Joe D’allesandro: film’s first nude male superstar.
Féral Benga: Folies Bergère star, actor & nude model.
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