Missy Higgins talks bisexuality and dating first girlfriend on tour

Missy Higgins on ABC program Take 5 with Zan Rowe.
Image: ABC

Singer-songwriter Missy Higgins has opened up about her bisexuality and talked about her first same-sex relationship on a tour of America early on in her career.

Higgins appears on tonight’s episode of ABC music program Take 5 with Zan Rowe.

On the show, the singer discusses with host Zan Rowe five songs she loves around the theme of “identity,” and during the chat she discussed her private relationship with her first girlfriend.

“She was kind of my tour manager and her and I were kind of in secret in those days,” she recalled.

“We weren’t out to everybody because it was early days, it was my first relationship with a woman.

“So I was really unsure about, if this was me? Am I gay? What’s happening here?

“She wasn’t really comfortable with kind of letting people know either so we didn’t even tell the band.”

Higgins explained the pair shared “many special moments” together in the long periods of downtime while on the American tour in the early 2000s.

“Her and I would just watch TV show after TV show because there was there were so many hours between every American city,” she recalled.

“Our favourite show was Six Feet Under and we watched the whole boxset.

“I remember when we watched the final episode, we just held each other and cried as [Sia’s Breathe Me] came on.”

Missy Higgins said rumours and speculation swirled about her sexuality early on her career. The singer kept her same-sex relationship private at the time because “it just wasn’t something that I was ready to talk about yet”.

“It was my first girlfriend and neither of us had kind of come out,” she said.

“We didn’t know if it was anybody else’s business. We kind of didn’t want it to be anyone else’s business. Because it was just this beautiful thing between us.

“She was really my rock through that time, because it was early days of me being famous and me experiencing so many things for the first time.

“I was really kind of quite unstable in so many ways, but I had her. She was just there for me.

“After we’d broken up, I remember seeing Sia perform. I remember standing in the audience as she played [Breathe Me] and having tears streaming down my face because I associated the song with our relationship.

“It’s incredible how one song can just like attach itself to a relationship or a moment in time.”

‘I realised I had a language for it’

Missy Higgins explained she would later come out as bisexual to close friends and family, which she found “empowering”.

“It enabled me to start being more open about it, because I realised I had a language for it,” she told the ABC program.

“It’s not something that I’m hiding, it’s not something I’m ashamed of. It’s a part of who I am.”

Earlier this year, Missy Higgins revealed she and her husband Dan Lee had separated in January.

The singer said after the split, she was suddenly faced with having to “start again”.

“I guess I’ll probably write an album about all of this, but I’ve got to have a second to myself first,” she said.

“I was this married woman with a nuclear family and that was my identity. Now, that’s not me anymore. I’ve got to start again.

“And there’s a good opportunity in that because actually, that was nothing to do with who I am. That was just part of the story.

“All of these things, they’re all part of the story. Who am I underneath it all?

“That’s kind of an exciting journey, you know? Anything could happen.”

Take 5 with Zan Rowe with Missy Higgins is on ABC on Tuesday night (October 4) at 8pm and on ABC iview.

For the latest lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, intersex and queer (LGBTIQ) news in Australia, visit qnews.com.au. Check out our latest magazines or find us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and YouTube.

Jordan Hirst
Jordan Hirst

Jordan Hirst is an experienced journalist and content creator with a career spanning over a decade at QNews. Since 2012, the Brisbane local has covered an enormous range of topics and subjects in-depth affecting the LGBTIQA+ community, both in Australia and overseas. Today, the Brisbane-based journalist covers everything from current affairs, politics and health to sport and entertainment.

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