Merry Bitchmas: the annual Carols by Candlelight Twitstorm

bitchmas carols by candlelight twitstorm

The evil spawn of the Twitterverse anticipates no event more eagerly than the annual Carols by Candlelight Twitstorm. Twits and half-twits alike choose Carols by Candlelight as the scratching post on which to sharpen their claws. In time-honoured Bitchmas tradition, they gather each 24 December ready to pounce on lyrical, musical or sartorial deviance.

The selection of Eddie McGuire as host in the absence of David Campbell because of COVID restrictions put noses out of joint from the beginning. Surprisingly, a few Eddie McGuire fans did show up on Twitter. Apparently, they were lost — wandered in trying to find their way back to Myspace.

McGuire did his best not to sound like a football caller.

However, referring to Anthony Callea leaving nothing in the tank and mispronouncing the singer’s name quickly raised the ire of viewers.

Others fumed at a recitation of stats and introductions possibly gleaned from a quick reading of Wikipedia entries during ad breaks.

Try as she might, Livinia Nixon barely rated a mention with McGuire standing beside her.

McGuire’s description of Tim Campbell as ‘versatile’ inspired mirth, whether intended or not.

Anthony Callea, Casey Donovan and Dami Im killed it

Anthony Callea, Casey Donovan and Dami Im appeared to garner the most approval. Indeed, each of the three turned in stupendous performances.

Ella Hooper, on the other hand, inspired wonderment. One tweet admired that she found inspiration in a meme: dance like no one is watching.

Another made a comparison to a drunk aunt doing karaoke at Christmas while yet another mentioned Peg Bundy.

Carols by Candlelight Twitstorm unsympathetic to aging icons

Aging performers could not win either way. Bitchmas is after all a celebration all things cruel and cutting.

Therefore those who failed to embrace some form of cosmetic  preservation technique copped it for how old they looked.

The remainder, however, fell victim to comments about litres of botox.

Dennis Walter

Those familiar with the career of Dennis Walter wondered if the legendary Melbourne singer perhaps now lived under the Carols by Candlelight stage, only emerging annually on 24 December.

However, youthful folk unaware of the former Young Talent Time regular, pondered why the producers included Donald Trump in the line-up.

Some even suggested requesting a presidential pardon for the event.

Anthony Callea

Of course, each year, Anthony Callea famously attempts to out-bling his own previous Christman Eve attire. This year proved no different.

While the cast of Hamilton dazzled with their talent, many thought the mash-up of ‘Hark the Herald Angels Sing’ and Hamilton lyrics both unnecessary and unimpressive. This writer agreed.

One issue not addressed during the Carols by Candlelight Twitstorm on Bitchmas Day, had QNews positively intrigued.

While QNews would never disagree with the promotion of a safe-sex message, it seemed unusual to include such in a Carols by Candlelight stage set design.

But those condom-motif stained glass windows above the stage were pretty.

carols by candlelight twitstorm bitchmas


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Destiny Rogers

Destiny Rogers embarked on her career in the media industry immediately after high school, initially joining Mirror News, which later evolved into News Ltd. She fondly recalls editing Ian Byford's 'Passing Glances: A History of Gay Cairns' as one of her most fulfilling projects. Additionally, Destiny co-researched and co-wrote 'The Queen's Ball', chronicling the history of the world's longest-running continuous queer event. Her investigative work on the history of Australia's COON Cheese and Edward Coon culminated in the publication 'COON: More Holes than Swiss Cheese', a collaborative effort with Dr. Stephen Hagan. Destiny's journey at QNews began as a feature writer, and she was subsequently elevated to the role of Managing Editor of QNews Magazine in 2018. However, in July 2022, she decided to resign from this role to refocus on research and feature writing. For contact, please reach out at

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