Matthew Mitcham: “I feel ashamed of myself”

matthew mitcham sas australia i feel ashamed

Speaking about his relationships during the latest episode of SAS Australia, Matthew Mitcham described himself as selfish and dishonest and said ‘I feel ashamed of myself.”

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Matthew is doing well on the arduous reality show set in the Jordanian desert. With half the contestants gone, he remains. Among others, he’s seen off Anthony Mundine, Jason  Akermanis, and LaToya Jackson. (Sorry, LaToya was on The Masked Singer. So easy to confuse these reality shows. Gotta feel for Darren Hayes and Courtney Act spending week after week under those unwieldy masks.)

As well as the physical challenges, contestants on reality shows need to display some vulnerability. Otherwise, they face episode after episode of RuPaul demanding they ruveal their vulnerabilities. Something RuPaul last did decades ago. (Someone just told me that’s also a different show. FMD, they all seem the same.)

So, in Episode 6 of SAS Australia, Matthew Mitcham again displayed his vulnerability as he opened up on camera.

A really selfish person

“I’ve been a really selfish person in relationships.

“I feel so ashamed for the immense hurt that I caused someone for 11 years who stayed with me all throughout my entire addiction. And despite being several years clean and sober and it being one of his absolute deal-breakers, I still struggle to be completely honest with my husband. So the thing I’m most ashamed to admit today is I hurt the people who are most important to me because honesty is not one of my core values and I’m a liar. I struggle to tell the truth when it’s difficult.”

So, Matthew is human. If he can admit that on television — knowing people will throw it at him for decades to come — he’s honest enough for me.

But SAS Australia is reality TV and reality TV, like bukkake movies, demands everything be milked to the last drop.

So some quasi-military dude subjects our Matthew to an interrogation.

“What’s the latest lie that’s eating you up?”

With tears welling in his eyes, Matthew digs himself in deeper.

Sexual behaviour

“Sexual behaviour… outside the relationship. Which is ridiculous because my partner and I have an understanding and yet I still have so much shame about it but I can’t be honest with it. So, there’s no reason to lie about it and that’s what eats me up. Because of my own shame.”


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More Matthew:

Matthew Mitcham breaks down in gut-wrenching SAS interview.

‘Bit the bullet’: Olympian Matthew Mitcham joins OnlyFans.

Matthew Mitcham marries partner Luke Rutherford.

Greg Louganis credits Matthew Mitcham for out Olympians.

Olympic golden boy Matthew Mitcham retires from diving.

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Destiny Rogers

Destiny Rogers embarked on her career in the media industry immediately after high school, initially joining Mirror News, which later evolved into News Ltd. She fondly recalls editing Ian Byford's 'Passing Glances: A History of Gay Cairns' as one of her most fulfilling projects. Additionally, Destiny co-researched and co-wrote 'The Queen's Ball', chronicling the history of the world's longest-running continuous queer event. Her investigative work on the history of Australia's COON Cheese and Edward Coon culminated in the publication 'COON: More Holes than Swiss Cheese', a collaborative effort with Dr. Stephen Hagan. Destiny's journey at QNews began as a feature writer, and she was subsequently elevated to the role of Managing Editor of QNews Magazine in 2018. However, in July 2022, she decided to resign from this role to refocus on research and feature writing. For contact, please reach out at

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