Cane toads, rabbits, and now British ‘celebs’ infesting the bush near Murwillumbah. Australia is plagued with invasive species. Pop star Boy George, former British Health Secretary Matt Hancock, Princess Anne’s son-in-law, and various other alleged celebs are filming the British version of I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here in northern NSW.
Aussies might struggle to remember Hancock. He was health secretary under Boris Johnson. Yes. That was a while ago. Two PMs and two months back now.
Hancock came close to eclipsing Johnson himself on the scandal front. Most notably, by flouting his own COVID restrictions. The health secretary was caught on camera with his tongue down the throat of an aide at a time when intimate contact was only allowed with members of your own household. That would mean the missus, not the mistress.
Although still a member of the British Parliament, Hancock is not currently attending to parliamentary duties or the needs of his constituents. Instead, he’s collecting a reported £400,000 to appear on a reality television show. But Boy George is doing even better. Depending on which paper you read, he will leave the Aussie bush with anywhere from £500,000 to £900,000.
Penis, Vagina, Anus
On Friday night, the pair took part in a challenge which included Hancock munching on camel dick. No bestiality, of course. The dick was no longer attached to the camel. No mention of what happened to the remaining parts of the animal. Though locals do report sightings of stray camel toes on the streets of Murwillumbah.
The politician also snacked on sheep vagina and cow anus. Which begs the question of whether arseholes eating arseholes constitutes cannibalism.
Boy George did not however bite into either a penis, vagina or anus. He is a vegetarian so apparently meat never passes his lips. Instead, producers presented him with a giant platter featuring fermented plums, sticky beans and a fermented duck egg.
George’s own participation aroused the ire of many on social media. They pointed to his 2008 conviction for chaining up and assaulting a Norwegian male model/sex worker. Allowed early release after serving 4 months in prison, Boy George now blames the crime on his previous drug use.
Of course, reality television producers couldn’t care less. Their only motivation is what attracts viewers and makes money. Give it a few years, and someone will tempt Prince Andrew with a sizeable cheque. Will he accept, or will they have to make do with Fergie?