Cardinal caught with sex worker in gelateria


Gelateria cardinal april fools day

Italian newspaper Stai Scherzando reports that early this morning, Rome police came across a naked cardinal with a female sex worker in gelateria near the Vatican.

A police spokesperson told the newspaper that officers grew suspicious after noticing the front door of the shop slightly ajar at approximately 2am. As they entered, the police heard a male voice from towards the back of the building crying “Oh Dio! Sto arrivando.” (Oh God, I’m coming!)

In a back room, they discovered a naked sex worker covered in Tiramisù gelato and a senior cleric attempting to wipe his mouth with one hand and remove a condom with the other.

The cardinal insisted to the police that he obtained permission from the shop owner to be on the premises late at night. The police detained the cardinal and his friend at a nearby police station for two hours before confirming his story.

When a reporter visited the gelateria this morning, a worker was busy moving tubs of Tiramisù gelato off display. She said the store owner gave the cardinal a key after he offered to perform a blessing over the business.

A Pontifical Swiss Guard told the newspaper on condition of anonymity that no one was surprised by a cardinal being caught with a sex worker. “But a woman! That’s something new. We always thought that one was a bit strange. He’s never once hit on one of our guys. You might think us silly but we thought perhaps he was celibate.”

My God!

“A Vatican spokesman said, “Mio Dio! Why today of all days? Couldn’t he have waited for Easter? Why does this have to happen on April 1?”

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Destiny Rogers

Destiny Rogers embarked on her career in the media industry immediately after high school, initially joining Mirror News, which later evolved into News Ltd. She fondly recalls editing Ian Byford's 'Passing Glances: A History of Gay Cairns' as one of her most fulfilling projects. Additionally, Destiny co-researched and co-wrote 'The Queen's Ball', chronicling the history of the world's longest-running continuous queer event. Her investigative work on the history of Australia's COON Cheese and Edward Coon culminated in the publication 'COON: More Holes than Swiss Cheese', a collaborative effort with Dr. Stephen Hagan. Destiny's journey at QNews began as a feature writer, and she was subsequently elevated to the role of Managing Editor of QNews Magazine in 2018. However, in July 2022, she decided to resign from this role to refocus on research and feature writing. For contact, please reach out at destinyr@qnews.com.au.

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