About the author

Chris Pye

gay couple fighting and having conflicting attachment styles

Wired for survival: why relationship attachment styles matter

Since John Bowlby introduced it in the 1950s, Attachment Theory has arguably become the most utilised tool in the Relationship Counsellor’s toolkit. Understanding your own ‘attachment style’ is a vital step towards building healthy, happy relationships. From the moment we are born, we are hardwired for a relationship. We attach to our primary caregiver and …

Stock photo of gay couple in a relationship embracing side by side.

The ‘holy trinity’ of relationship myths, and how to avoid them

Three powerful relationship myths, left unexamined, will invariably sabotage our intimate relationships, writes relationship counsellor and life coach Chris Pye. But the good news is that all three relationship myths are entirely avoidable. Myth #1: If our partner loves us enough, they will read our thoughts and emotional needs. It can be quite the shock …

trauma relationships

Don’t let trauma sabotage your relationships

Around 75% of Australians will experience trauma. It affects each person differently and will often impact our intimate partner connections. But there are things we can safely do right now to prevent trauma from hijacking our relationships. WARNING: This article discusses the impacts of trauma Psychological trauma can result from exposure to life-threatening or significantly …

emotional connection

Walls & Bridges – Emotional Connection with your Partner

Why on earth would anyone attend relationship counselling and open up about their emotional connection with their partner? What could possibly entice a person to render themselves emotionally naked in front of a total stranger? As a counsellor, many of my new clients are individuals, paving the way for a reluctant partner. It happens so …

loved and lost five stages of grief

Five stages of grief: Better to have loved and lost…

Chris Pye writes on the five stages of grief. He echos Tennyson on the subject of lost love – better to have loved and lost. English poet, Alfred Lord Tennyson’s reflection on the death of a dear friend led him to write an immortal line. ‘Tis better to have loved and lost than never to …

Relationships love

The Science of Love – What Makes a Good Relationship?

Most of us grow up besieged by morals, models and myths about what makes good relationships. They come from well-intentioned parents and playground peers, teachers, preachers, and popular media. But can science assist our love lives? For queer or non-conforming folk, these dominant narratives and social prescriptions can fit as well as a poorly tailored …

happy endings

Happy Endings: 3 Keys to Uncoupling without Trauma

Relationship Counsellor and Life Coach Chris Pye suggests three keys to uncoupling without trauma. “We really need help”, she began. “Not to stay together, but to separate.” It was one of my free introductory counselling sessions. Prospective clients connect for an exploratory half hour, to find out how I might support them. This was not …

connected relationships 3 essential tools

Feel the Feels: 3 Essential Tools for More Connected Relationships

When it comes to living a full and rich life, we’ve been sold the idea that feeling miserable is the result of not trying hard enough to be happy. Apparently, nobody likes a misery-guts. A vast array of confectionery, alcoholic beverages, fashion accessories, and self-help books, promise to miraculously transform our melancholy into merriment. And …

foster care foster carers

From Adversity to Possibility – One Foster Care Couples’ Journey

Soph and I had been together for three years when we attended our first foster care information evening, but it was another six years before we finally became foster carers. In the intervening years, we reflected on why we wanted to take this step. We had interesting work lives, a close circle of family and …

Relationship Conflict First Aid

The 9 Rs of Relationship Conflict First Aid – Part 3

For twenty-five years Relationship Coach and Counsellor, Chris Pye has supported individuals, couples, families, and teams to transform conflict and communication issues into deeper connection. In this third and final monthly instalment, he unpacks his final three essential guideposts for a more harmonious relationship. Let’s finish the 9 R’s of Relationship Conflict First Aid. Guidepost …

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