Stereotypes

By Paul Martin

Air head mincing twinks on heat, aggressive bull dykes, bitter predatory old queens, possessed trannies with attitude, stereotypes are all around us and people seem to love it!   Over the years of specialising in counselling GLBT communities, we’ve become very aware of how stereotyping has damaged so many lives.  This is not only from the way straight people stereotype us, but the way we do it to each other.   The way we ‘pigeon-hole’ people deeply affects the way we relate to and feel about them.  

Earlier in the year, Scott Hampson, the President of Pride Festival spoke a lot about the aim of having “one community”.  Sadly though the way we tend to stereotype each other plays a big role in driving us apart.    Stereotyping cuts us off from being able to have meaningful and rich relationships with anyone who fits into categories you don’t relate to.   At the end of the day, stereotyping doesn’t make any sense!  How is it that everyone who has a certain look or acts in a certain way, are all the same type of person? 

In our work it’s impossible to hold onto stereotypes.  For example, I’ve counselled a number of butch women that have had been treated unfairly in the workplace due to being seen as being aggressive purely from the way they look.  It comes as no surprise to me that the reality is that most of them have been the most warm-hearted, loving and kindest women I’ve ever met.  

Stereotyping can also take away our ability to have a rich and diverse social life.  As humans we are naturally attracted to people who in some way mirror who we are.   This is natural and healthy, but it can mean that we end up with a group of friends that look like they have all been manufactured from the same production line in a GLBT clone factory.   Having a diverse social network can add great depth and richness to your life.   

Stereotyped beliefs can only influence you if you believe what they are saying in your head.  So when talking to someone who fits into a category you usually wouldn’t speak to, be aware of the stereotyping thoughts and briefly put them aside while you try to get to know them.  This could open you up to connect with a much broader range of people.  There are many reasons to not stereotype, so just ssssssssssssstop it girlfriend!