The history of HIV/AIDS is filled with holocaust-like images of death, wasting bodies and unrelenting grief.  Thankfully being HIV positive today is vastly different, though unfortunately can still be associated with fears of being alone, discrimination, rejection, shame, and the prospect of health complications and an early death. 

In many people's minds, HIV is about as easy to think about as the idea of supping on the putrescent gel from your grandmother's suppurating bed sores.   HIV is a serious health issue with potential complications.  The reality though is that being HIV positive can be a journey which leads to positive growth and is easily medicated to the point where people are living normal healthy, fabulous and long lives.  So the problem is not so much HIV itself, but people's fear of it.  Fear leads to avoidance which creates unnecessary suffering.  

It can also create denial which can include not being tested as the idea of being positive seems worse than the risk of passing it on to others.   If you are HIV positive, the fear can be of going onto medication.  Many people after being diagnosed can go into a numbed out state where it is as though they aren't positive at all and they also avoiding getting information about HIV.  The idea of actually going onto medication can create a sense that it is finally real, and they are now each day condemned to re-experience being positive every day when they have to take their pill.

Avoidance based on fear inevitably causes distress and can only be dealt with by facing it.  So if you want to gain a peace of mind, stop avoiding and you'll find that there is a real sense of relief. The interesting thing about fear is that the reality is almost never as bad as what you think it is.  It is not easy but psychologically you'll end up a lot stronger and in control. 

Paul Martin is the principle psychologist at The Centre For Human Potential

www.cfhp.com.au