The online world of dating is a cornucopia of pulsating possibilities where reproductive organs are displayed like an Italian deli cabinet where hardened glistening rows of cabana hang dutifully ready to be inserted into a moist focaccia.   It’s also a place where you can meet a gentleman or lady and meet for a lovely chat over a cup of tea. 

As much as it is a great forum for meeting people, it is also a place where people are hurt and emotional damage can be increased or created. This can be particularly so for people from a non-white background, are not slim, are disabled or over a certain age.  

It can be particularly difficult being Asian and gay in Australia and the dating sites can add another layer of distress for them.  Many Asian clients have told us that it feels as though they are a minority within a minority.  It is difficult for many people from an Asian background given the strong expectations to marry from their family, fears of being excluded from their own communities if they find out they are gay and adapting to a totally different culture.  When initially coming to Australia they have described feelings of excitement knowing they will be finally free to be who they are in a place which openly accepts them.  It can be almost heartbreaking to then be unfairly stereotyped as a money hungry ‘potato queen’, treated as though they are invisible in gay clubs and to read endless profiles online saying ‘No Asians’. 

If you have “No Asians, fattys, oldies, girly queens or bitchy twinks with electric blue bouffant hair with sparkle hairspray’  in your profile, remember back to what it felt like at school where you felt like you didn’t fit in and were possibly excluded and think again. Consider telling people what you DO prefer.