For some people, bum fun with someone who is married can be a potent sexual fantasy. Whilst having sex with a married guy or woman can be hot, the issues can start if you develop an emotional attachment to them.

Many married people finally gain the strength to come out after they’ve fallen in love with someone of the same sex for the first time and this can be a wonder fully positive experience. There are examples of people leaving their marriage and having a great long term relationship with the person they fell in love with and having a great future with the ex-wife or husband being supportive and the kids becoming an extended family. There are also many other stories of the person they have fallen in love being taken on a theme park ride from hell.

If you fall in love with a married person and they are nowhere near the point of being able to leave the marriage, you can end up feeling regularly abandoned as they spend most of their time with the family, you can feel like the ‘dirty secret’ and that the married person can feel ashamed of their feelings for you and guilty for the time spent with you. They are of ten caught in a web of powerful guilt, feeling guilty about their family and you.

If you make a habit of doing this, you may have some underlying beliefs that drive you to repeat a pattern that ends up with you feeling worthless and abandoned. It can also take you back to times when you felt ashamed of being same sex attracted. So whilst nibbling frenzily on the moist reproductive organs of married people can be sublime, make sure you enter into any potential romantic attachment with great trepidation.

Paul Martin is the Principal Psychologist at the Centre for Human Potential. www.cfhp.com.au